Harry Potter, the bane of their existence
by RaDiCaLmE
Summary: In the Deathly Hallows Part 2, Voldemort's reaction to Harry still being alive takes a turn for the worst when everyone begins to see...well, the worst in him. spoilers!


_Note: Ok, first off I am a HUGE Harry potter fan. I love the books, the movies, I would never seriously bash Harry himself and mean it! This is kind of a 'what if' situation, like if everyone began to turn on harry for things he didn't mean or things that were dumb. Please don't take any of this seriously as if it were my opinion on the character himself and his actions, it's just a good joke._

_Also, all of this is mainly in the movie universe based on scenes that weren't in the book. Enjoy!_

"They didn't die in vain..." So continued the speech of Neville Longbottom, who stared sadly down at the Boy Who Lived. There lay the hero, a fallen warrior in eternal sleep as Hagrid tearfully cradled him. The injured boy gave his attention back to the Dark Lord, who sneered and began to laugh mockingly at his statement.

"But _you_ will!" He bellowed, glaring into Voldemort's eyes with defiance. "Because you're wrong! Harry's heart did beat for us! For ALL of us! _It's not over!"_

In a swift second Neville unsheathed the blade from the torn sorting hat. He held it up as if prepared to strike when the unexpected happen.

Harry Potter rolled out of the half-giants arms and onto his feet, brandishing his wand. A spell shot out at the snake, only to rebound near a group of death eaters.

Despite this failed attempt he didn't hesitate to start running as far away as possible. And despite the ten seconds of shock and horror displayed on Voldemort's face, he snapped out of it to start firing away at the boy.

"GAH! _Gahhh!"_ He cried as explosions followed Harry's trail, barely catching him, **"GAHHH!"**

One last combustion of flames vanished, revealing the boy unharmed and in escape.

The Death Eaters began to dissaparate out of fear of being killed off one by one by their leader. The Potter boy headed into the castle, ready to have the Dark Lord chase him as his allies blocked the entrance and charged forward to repel an attack.

But no attack came from the snake-like man. What happened instead caused everyone to halt what they were doing.

_**"NYEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**_ NO! NO! _No!_" He shrieked in an unusually high pitched wail. He collapsed onto his knees and began to smash his fists into the gravel.

"He's still coming in to hunt me down, right?" Harry called as he stuck his head out the door.

"Um, no, it doesn't seem that way at all." Mr. Weasley replied awkwardly over the screeches and moans.

"What? That isn't part of the plan at all!" Harry exclaimed as he stepped outside.

"It's unexpected, is what it is." Ron shrugged, looking confused as everyone else.

"Unexpected? You call _that_ unexpected?!" Voldemort sniffled through his sobs, "I shot my wand at him as a baby and got myself blown up! I had him alone and defenseless but he somehow escapes! I even possessed him but he STILL stays unbroken! And then.. And then when I finally kill him for sure, unforgivable death curse and all...HE. STILL. Lives...!"

Burying his head into his arms he began kicking his feet up and back whilst continuing his

"You mean that's what this is all about?" Mrs. Weasley tries to ask as gently as possible.

"Yes, I just can't TAKE IT ANYMORE!" He lifted his head up to yell, nearly shattering the woman's ear drums, "When someone you destroy is killed by a curse that involves immediate death, they're supposed to stay dead! That's just how nature works!"

"Look whose talking, you filthy hypocrite!" Harry frowned, bravely stepping towards the defeated figure, "You've split your own soul apart by killing others to make yourself immortal! How does that not defy nature?"

"Well your not immortal at all though, Harry. So isn't it kind of unfair that you're still alive?" Hermione questioned.

"Are you serious?!"

_"Uh, Technically I'm Sirius."_ A voice piped up from the back of Harry's heart where he kept close all of his deceased dearly after the encounter with the Resurrection Stone.

"Shut up, Sirius!"

"Hey, don't you tell Sirius to shut up you crazy loon, that's your dead godfather right there!" George scolded.

"George, Fred was always taking 80% of the money from your joke shop."

"...Wha...What?"

"And he was spending it all on lottery tickets instead of helping you get that ear transplant."

**"...SONOFA-"**

"And what do you mean that's unfair?" Harry asked Ms. Granger as he turned back to her, "Are you actually sticking up for the Dark Wizard of all evil?!"

"Well, even to those not evil like us, we all kind of get unfair disadvantages because of you." Seamus piped up.

"Yeah, like how I'm seen as the bad boyfriend compared to Harry back when Ginny and I were dating!" Dean added, "I mean sure we fought a few times, couples are always arguing. But at least my reputation never put her in any serious danger!"

"Plus it didn't take Dean years to realize he had a crush on me..."

"Ginny!" Harry said in disbelief.

"Oh please, you know I had a crush on you in my first year and you fall for me what, four years later? Is it 'cause of THIS?" To Harry's discomfort, she pointed at her bosoms, _"Is it because puberty put these on me that you suddenly find me attractive?!"_

"Yeah, plus you break up with me after a few months of dating because I was still traumatized about Cedric's death?" Cho Chang asked.

"You just wanted to know more about him through me!" Harry retaliated.

**"HE'S DEAD, YOU BLOODY IDIOT!"** She screamed. "Why the hell would it have mattered if I can't even get back with him?! And if that's not bad enough, you get angry at me for revealing Dumbledore's army when I was forced against my will! My WILL, Potter!"

"Or what about how he totally freaks out and chases me just for killing one godfather?" Bellatrix Lestrange complained, arms crossed. "I've killed tons of friends and family of others, but they've learned to move on and enjoy the better things in life! I mean, he didn't hesitate to chase after me two christmases ago and have his friends endanger themselves by helping!"

"Or how he gets away with freeing my house elf!" Lucius said, "Normally something like that would go punished by the Ministry, especially without consent of the elf's master! And when I try to punish him myself, NOOOOOooo! _I get tossed in the air!"_

"Not to mention the hell I went through last year with trying to kill Dumbledore!" His son announced, "And it wasn't just for myself, it was for my family so they wouldn't die either! And what did you do, Mr. I'm so nice and helping everybody! You stalked, harassed, AND attacked me! I would've thought you out of all people would understand someone who's trying to protect their family!"

"You-!" Harry started a comeback but was interrupted when a massive shadow loomed over him.

_"Hagrid's my friend, he says!'_ Puh! Yeh never even come fer tea anymore! And what have I been doin? Riskin me life fer yeh like I've been doin fer seventeen years now, and yeh literally wander off into the forest right in Voldemort's clutches! I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT YEH WERE DEAD, HARREH!"

"And like any good friend, he decides to put conflict into my feelings for Ronald right after he vanished!"

"Hermione!" Harry gasped.

"Holding my hand, making me dance with him- though I do admit, Harry is surprisingly a good dancer."

"Wait...Him?" Parvati cried, "A good DANCER!? He's suddenly a good dancer now, after he humiliates me at the Yule Ball?! Harry Potter, that is so typical of you!"

"And you know what the worst is?" A certain ginger asked out loud.

"Ron, _please_, no-"

"I am ALWAYS compared to him, to how greater he is than me just because I'm his most faithful of guy friends when in fact, I've gotten more girls than him! I had a girlfriend last year, a new one as of last night, plus I even snogged an older woman! Did YOU snog an older woman? I don't think so!"

**"...ARE YOU PEOPLE LISTENING TO YOURSELF?!"** Harry cried out loud,_ "Why is it that I'm the only sane one here?!"_

"You? SANE?!" Professor Mcgonagall scoffed, "You call the most evil wizard of all time by his name, talk to snakes, and can see through his mind!"

"So if anyone's the insane one and the hypocrite, it's you Potter!" Flitwick squeaked.

"I say we grab hold of Potter and let You-know-who have that chance to do what the boy never let him do!" Filch suggested with Mrs. Norris purring in agreement.

"What?" Potter choked, looking paler than ever.

"Yaaaaay!" Voldemort, eyes now completely dry, sat up on his knees and applauded with glee.

**"WHAAAT?!"** He cried in horror as Hagrid lifted himself off the ground.

And so Neville Longbottom watched in confusion as Harry Potter, the one who was supposed to be their savior, was immediately realized to be the bane of their existence.

"You...you guys?" He mumbled as the screaming Potter was dragged by a cheering crowd over to where he had his wand raised. "He...he's Harry, remember?...The heart that beats for all of us?"

His quiet pleas went unnoticed, and instead of continuing Neville began to contemplate.

"Then again because I was one of the two boys mentioned in the prophecy but Harry turned out to be the famous one, my parents were tortured for nothing."

After a another moment of thinking hard, Neville raised Gryffindor's sword and ran off in Harry's direction with a battle cry, ready to cut off a limb or two.


End file.
